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Pome Clinging to the Bedroom Wall

The text
ure of your
skin was no
thing like I
thing less than
scars, some
thing more than

the frag
ile frag
ed dance
(the broke
en steps)
of an in
jured ball

The text
ure of
her freck
les an in
babble of

an inter
stellar map
of an un
known galaxy
of an un
d plan
et or the
isimal re
mains of an an
cestor slip
ped be
neath her

his so
liloquy trans
lated in
to a tele
ic trans
script of a
ly moan
ing, writ
ten in her
breaks, text
w/in a created
space, the
of meaning, the
recreation of
ambiguity in
the crude
technique of
a child surgeon
sticking doll
parts on in
congruent bodies
just because
he can, because
he is tired of
his other toys
and wants something
new, even if he
has to make it


the obvious
by breaking
open the
apparent, breaking
down the
plainly constructed
and creating
the incoherent
by regrouping
these trusted
couplets into
becoming the
fruitless mule
of an idle horse
Add a Comment:
TheObviousChild Featured By Owner May 22, 2007
This is so good, I can forgive you for p-o-m-e.

I'd love for the comma to come out of the last stanza, so it could be a 'ghostly moaning writ' as well as a 'ghostly moaning written in her skin.' Aside from the brackets it's the only punctuation mark in there, I kind of tripped on it.

But I have big feet, so.
davidAwarren Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2004  Student Traditional Artist
<read it, <3 it.
geeimsoloved Featured By Owner Aug 13, 2004
I don't know how much I like the subject etc of this poem, but I do like the style you've written it in and the words you've used. Very nice; it was fun to read.
Nyasa Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2004
remarkable and unique use of form here, beautifully innovative, I love reading your stuff
noctambula Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2004
when Im faving this, Im faving every word of it.
terov Featured By Owner May 6, 2004

It resonates particularly with me as breaking down words into their functional bits (and then into nothing) has been a fetish of late.

This is really a good idea for poems likely to be read rather than heard, on top of just being a great (read: successful? :)) experiment, period. You really have to slow down and digest words as chunks of meaning.

Images here are among your best.

tmpst24myst Featured By Owner Apr 27, 2004  Student Writer
reading words broken into bits, i enjoy.
badgercall Featured By Owner Apr 26, 2004
I think it's an interesting manipulation of words, and the roots of leads you on all sorts of false paths if you try to read it too fast. The poem, with or without the fragmenting, is beautiful anyway...and I'm curious as to why you spelled "pome" as you did.
gyroscope Featured By Owner Apr 26, 2004
the gimmick for this one saves a rather flat poem. kudos.
amyfae Featured By Owner Apr 26, 2004   Writer
Is poem supposed to be spelt wrong in the title? I really like the title, by the way. And I like the manipulation of words and word bits, although it did make for a choppy reading. I like the images it created for me, even if they had nothing to do with the poem. I think it's also a type of form I could never write in - I hate chopping words in half from line to line myself, and I usually don't like it when other people do it, but I think you do it well here. It feels much like a game.

niteangel Featured By Owner Apr 26, 2004
I have no idea how to describe the interesting-ness of this new structure of poem I see. Really interesting and I agree with what ~fauxgravity said. The lines are broken, but then form a new meaning and also rythum for the lines. I don't know if this is intentionally done for the sake of new meanings or so, but I like the meanings I interpreted myself generated from this. I love the line "no, thing like I thought". That's very cool to me :P

Remind me of a way to do abstract. Just a twist in form can lead to great change, and generate new meanings for more inspiration.

fauxgravity Featured By Owner Apr 26, 2004
wow, this is so well done. it really enveloped me due to the affected manipulation of form, it somewhat lost me in the last stanza, i think because it began with a continuation of thought and i really wanted a gap between her skin and his so/liloquy. do that and stitch together galaxy/ of an un/imagine/d plan/et and this is a +fav for me, but even as it is i do still think it's really a wonderful poem - the emotion seems to have been almost drained out of it through these sterile cuts you have made, leaving something that should be romantic but reads almost like a disjointed suicide note.
epimetheus Featured By Owner Apr 26, 2004  Professional Interface Designer
Your wish, as they say, has been granted.

Other edits made.

fauxgravity Featured By Owner Apr 27, 2004
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Submitted on
April 26, 2004
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