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Learning to breathe
Learning to breatheW8BNMSWDVC║╗1║╗1mBINАВБ│Ё╨╧рб▒с>■  &(■   %                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                ье┴s ┐╫jbjb└ └ кkкk╫      ]вввввввццццц ЄцБъ>@@@@@@,kЇ_ВlвlЦввЦЦЦ"вв>╢╬вввв>ЦиЦ>вв> ┴9║ццYou walked on water
and I raced up to touch your feet.

Tried to pull you underЦ
be your breath
but got lost in the waves,
beached on glacial shores.

Muddied hands with silt
and painted the names
of those who have run
palms down belly softly
across my abdomen.

You got lost in constellations
and psych


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Submitted on
April 26, 2004
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Pome Clinging to the Bedroom Wall

The text
ure of your
skin was no
thing like I
thought
some
thing less than
scars, some
thing more than
words

the frag
ile frag
ment
ed dance
(the broke
en steps)
of an in
jured ball
erina

The text
ure of
her freck
les an in
coherent
babble of
braille

an inter
stellar map
of an un
known galaxy
of an un
imagine
d plan
et or the
infinit
isimal re
mains of an an
cestor slip
ped be
neath her
skin

his so
liloquy trans
lated in
to a tele
graph
ic trans
script of a
ghost
ly moan
ing, writ
ten in her
skin
artificial
breaks, text
w/in a created
space, the
deconstruction
of meaning, the
recreation of
ambiguity in
the crude
technique of
a child surgeon
sticking doll
parts on in
congruent bodies
just because
he can, because
he is tired of
his other toys
and wants something
new, even if he
has to make it
himself.

..

unleashing
the obvious
by breaking
open the
apparent, breaking
down the
plainly constructed
and creating
the incoherent
by regrouping
these trusted
couplets into
sterile
pairings
becoming the
fruitless mule
of an idle horse
Add a Comment:
 
:icontheobviouschild:
This is so good, I can forgive you for p-o-m-e.

I'd love for the comma to come out of the last stanza, so it could be a 'ghostly moaning writ' as well as a 'ghostly moaning written in her skin.' Aside from the brackets it's the only punctuation mark in there, I kind of tripped on it.

But I have big feet, so.
Reply
:icondavidawarren:
<read it, <3 it.
-david
Reply
:icongeeimsoloved:
I don't know how much I like the subject etc of this poem, but I do like the style you've written it in and the words you've used. Very nice; it was fun to read.
Reply
:iconnyasa:
Nyasa Jul 12, 2004
remarkable and unique use of form here, beautifully innovative, I love reading your stuff
Reply
:iconnoctambula:
when Im faving this, Im faving every word of it.
Reply
:iconterov:
Delicious!

It resonates particularly with me as breaking down words into their functional bits (and then into nothing) has been a fetish of late.

This is really a good idea for poems likely to be read rather than heard, on top of just being a great (read: successful? :)) experiment, period. You really have to slow down and digest words as chunks of meaning.

Images here are among your best.

:+fav:
Reply
:icontmpst24myst:
tmpst24myst Apr 27, 2004  Student Writer
reading words broken into bits, i enjoy.
Reply
:iconbadgercall:
I think it's an interesting manipulation of words, and the roots of words...it leads you on all sorts of false paths if you try to read it too fast. The poem, with or without the fragmenting, is beautiful anyway...and I'm curious as to why you spelled "pome" as you did.
Reply
:icongyroscope:
the gimmick for this one saves a rather flat poem. kudos.
Reply
:iconamyfae:
amyfae Apr 26, 2004   Writer
Is poem supposed to be spelt wrong in the title? I really like the title, by the way. And I like the manipulation of words and word bits, although it did make for a choppy reading. I like the images it created for me, even if they had nothing to do with the poem. I think it's also a type of form I could never write in - I hate chopping words in half from line to line myself, and I usually don't like it when other people do it, but I think you do it well here. It feels much like a game.

~amy
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